I tell her my secrets, I tell her my problems, I tell her my mistakes and she didn’t judge me, we made plans for the future, we talk about how successful we will be someday. At night we giggle and talk about even the most nonsense things and we’d laugh, and her laugh, it’s contagious. It echoes to this day, that laugh will I never forget. When things get rough, she’d tell me “it’s okay, everything will be fine, we can do this.” She puts passion at what she does, she excelled, she achieved, during the most difficult times of her life, she stayed strong, she’d go out of her way to help you. She’s a friend, she’s a sister, she’s my best friend, she is Heizel.
Over a year ago, she was diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer, prior to that she’s already had 2 operations to remove the brain tumor and later last year, she eventually lost her sight. It hurts me that I wasn’t there beside her during her most difficult times, I wasn’t there to listen so I am the first person she tells about the struggle like we always used to. This time, it’s not just about school stuff, boys, lip gloss and nail polish- this time it’s brain cancer. But you know what, I witnessed her strength though we were miles apart, she fought, she stood, she sacrificed, she cared for the people around her, her life is a blessing to many, she laughed and she smiled. But on March 09, 2015, she went to be with the Lord. I was reading her sister’s Facebook status about that and I can’t move, I feel like I was just dreaming, I can’t believe she’s gone too soon. Until now, I can’t believe she’s not here anymore. I can’t believe that when I visited her when I was on vacation in January, that’s the last time I will see her smile in person. It will never be the same without her and her laugh. I have a lot of “I wish” I had done this and done that, but it’s too late. Her life taught me many lessons the past week. Not only her life but her sisters’ lives, she has 2 younger sisters that grew up with us too, they’re like my real sisters. They are Michelle and Mirish, both of them together with their family demonstrated great strength, more than anyone Michelle and Mirish stood by Heizel’s side juggling work, studies and discipleship ministries altogether. Sleepless nights, tearful devotions and pleading time with the Lord to heal their sister, plus other extra responsibilities, I could not imagine myself going through all those situations with a smile on my face and great faith in my heart that believes God’s got everything under control like they do, it must have been so difficult. How could for the life of me complain about small, petty stuff in life and feeling sorry for where I am right now- how pathetic and stupid could I be where on the other side of this planet I have my best friend and sisters persevering, fighting hard and flaming the faith when in the eyes of the world they are passing through a difficult, draining and hopeless situation?!!! I know! We are oftentimes like that, we take our life for granted when in fact we are blessed in every ways, we feel offended by someone, we dilly dally in our faith just because we don’t get things to work our way, we feel that God is far away when we are the ones drifting apart, we feel disappointed over the littlest things in life.
She is Heizel, she will always be in my heart, her memories will stay with me forever, she is an inspiration. We are deeply saddened that she is gone, but we are all rejoicing that Heaven has gained her and is walking joyfully with God, with her eyesight back to see Paradise’s majesty and without any pain but only happiness, also with her earthly dad whom they lost 5 years ago to heart attack, I know these sisters have been through a lot. Despite everything that has happened in their lives, they acknowledge boldly and openly that truly God has proven Himself faithful, that He has never left their side and He has never abandoned them. Til their sister’s last breath, God has manifested His goodness to them, that even though it’s been very painful, God is the one who comforts them. Michelle said, “even though what we have been praying for has not come to pass, it doesn’t mean God doesn’t hear us or He doesn’t want us to be happy. All He wants is for us to surrender everything to Him because He has a better plan than what we would have wanted to happen. God’s thinking is far from our own, His ways are different. We may not understand it but if we trust Him wholly, forever we won’t be disappointed. Yes, it is difficult to move on, it’s difficult to lose someone but God’s grace is abundant. God’s love is unfailing. We will lose everything, house, business, job, money, friends and family but God’s love is always present. Whooo! Even though it’s difficult, painful, and crazy, just TRUST GOD! Whooo! I am now excited, excited for how we will start again, stand up and see God’s surprises along the way of moving on. Thank you to everyone that helped and supported. We will always be grateful.”
Gosh! What great faith is that?!!! She is only 20 years old and Mirish a year younger, but their faith and courage will serve as great examples to people around them like me. Let their story inspire us, to live and not just exist, to create value through our lives and to never take things and people for granted. Show the people around you that you care and you love them before it’s too late, we never know when they’ll be called to rest.
Heizel, I may not be there most of the time but always know that I love you, always. I am so proud of how strong you are and how brave you fought your battle, you will always be in my heart. Though it will never be the same without you, I will radiate your smile and positive energy, your memories will always be with me, my childhood is perfect because you’re in it. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Our loss is Heaven’s gain. You are now happy, well and smiling, no pain and pretty again. You will be missed. Thank you for everything. We will continue to fight brain cancer. To me, you will always be Heizel.
And yes, I am posting our pictures and memories in here, for everyone to see, for everyone to be touched, encouraged and inspired.
You will always be remembered Heizel. Nothing is impossible with God.